4 months later...

Oh hey! It's been a while. Slightly over four months. And in those months, I've lost another 8 pounds. So my total loss is 18. Wee!

I still use that My Fitness Pal app, but I've been TERRIBLE with my eating habits, and not working out at all. Which is why I'm losing 2 lbs per MONTH instead of per week.

I'm inspired by some of my friends hitting their milestones, so I think I'll jump back on the bandwagon of discipline. Lack of exercise and healthy food has contributed to a significant amount of depression, so I think I have to lay off of the booze and junk food and get back into Jillian Michaels DVD's and dance again.

So, here goes. Another 2 lbs and I'll make the 20 lbs down mark! :)

I really am a loser! 10 lbs!

I haven't been blogging, but I've been using an app called my fitness pal since September 26th, and I've lost 10 pounds as of December 1. I don't weigh my self every week, only when I visit my Dad's house in NJ. But 10 pounds! I had to buy new jeans, as my old ones didn't fit anymore. My goal jeans are still a size too small, but better than 3 sizes too small- how it was when I got off of tour in April. 

SO, there's that. I love the app, I can still eat what I want, but it has taught me portion control. I don't really exercise on a regular basis these days, other than purposefully doing some extra walking throughout the week. I'm averaging about a pound a week loss, and if I did incorporate a regular workout into my day, I think I'd be closer to losing two pounds a week. However, I'm totally satisfied with my 1 lb/wk average. And it'd be amazing if I could keep it up! 

I'd like to brainstorm some ideas of exercising. I struggle with maintainability. I get into something really difficult, and I last for about 2 months, and then it gets old, boring, painful, etc...and I stop. I need to find something that I can do regularly, that doesn't take up my whole day, that makes me feel like I did something without being so difficult or time consuming that I don't stick with it. 

Brainstorming for exercise that I can stick with (that are cheap!):

-warm-up and stretch portion of insanity

-Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred (short video I already own)

-commit to walking every day (harder on my knee than home exercise...and weather dependent)

So I have some ideas. Now, for the motivation to keep it up...here we go!

week 6 day 6/7

The past few days have been rough, but today I finally completed week 6 (day 7 is technically a day off, so I will be starting week 7 tomorrow, as I took yesterday off). Woo! I'm getting there.

My eating habits the last 8 days have been great, and I'm so happy with how I've been keeping to making better choices relative to the choices I was making before. So it may not be all salad and rice cakes, but for everything I'd like to put in my mouth, I choose a less fat/calorie/smaller thing. And not a binge yet! 

My work out is done, and it's not yet 3pm...so it's time to take on the day! :)

week 6 days 2 and 3 and 4

Well, I had a MASSIVE meltdown on Wednesday before completing day 1. Feelings of failure and hopelessness just arose out of nowhere. I HATE that.

Thursday I did day 2, but without my roommate working out with me, I didn't work nearly as hard, and I took a lot of breaks. Skipped Friday, as I went out to NJ, and time just escaped. Friday I worked REALLY hard and did SO well on Day 4, AND walked with my stepmom 2 miles on the difficult reverse route with the hills. And worked with my dad taping carpet to paint trim, so I was moving all day long. Took the day off today, Sunday, because I was lazy and avoiding the recovery day. But now this way I will be on the same day as J&J, my favorite husband and wife team with the same first letter, who are doing insanity now officially at the same exact time. She's coming over on Tuesday night to do it with me, so I'll at least have accountability there.

Two auditions that I'm DREADING tomorrow. But my sweet friend Jen from college will be coming for a sleepover, so hopefully I'll get those auditions overwith and get my workout in before she gets here!

Still hangin in. We've got to keep at it no matter how we feel...

Official Day 6, Week 1

Well, I think I'm over the hump. I had a major teary meltdown today about how much of a failure I feel, how I haven't really lost anything, and how it's probably my eating habits. Great. Support can be really hard to find, but I found it in my roommate Lindsay. She was SO kind and supportive, and encouraging, reminding me how far I've come strength wise and endurance wise, that now in the second month of insanity, I can really push myself and make my goals.

We made a pact to eat/grocery shop together, so that we can hold each other accountable. Cooking meals for two is so much easier than cooking meals for one. So we have a list of things we'd like to include in our daily intake, and limits on the bad things we'd like to eat. Healthier alternatives, too.

It's really all about the mental attitude for me: if I wake up thinking I can take on the day, I will. If I wake up thinking I don't want to do anything, I'm a failure, what's the point, etc., I won't. Changing how we feel is really hard, but I think having my roommate be so kind and supportive (she did Max Interval Circuit with me tonight) is going to be really helpful in keeping me on track.

Anyway, I feel better now than I did a few hours ago, and there's no where to go but up!

no-title post

So, I was supposed to start week 5 today, I didn't. I ended up JUST getting the videos this afternoon, and half my tour folks randomly came over for a huge dinner party that just finished, so I missed my workout window, and it's WAY too late now.

Will start tomorrow. That's okay.

Eating GREAT. My dinner party tonight was a healthy stir fry, tons of delicious veggies, chicken...mmm. Fresh fruit and light cool whip for dessert. So not the best, but so much better than it has been. Progress.

Terrified of "max" workouts. A whole hour! I used to do p90x, an hour and a half every day...I don't know why this terrifies me so. I'm frustrated and have been slacking because I haven't seen any progress in my body at all, my pants all fit the same, and I feel stronger, but I don't feel leaner at all.

BUT, I had a nice talk with a friend of mine who has done it before, and she said she didn't notice anything until the second month, and a lot of her friends felt the same way. They were so aggravated because they worked so hard and saw no results after a whole 5 weeks, but they said they got into the second month and weight began to fall away, so....HOPEFULLY that's the case with me too. I need to lose. NOW. Still haven't bought a scale, but all of my clothes fit the same. Nothing's loose. Soon. Sigh.

updates.

So, I haven't updated in a while. This week seemed particularly rough emotionally. I'm sure PMS has nothing to do with it (lie).

Anyway. This week was supposed to be a recovery week, where you do the same video every day. I did it on Sunday night (or Monday night, can't remember) and Tuesday night so far this week. I was getting really down on myself for not doing the workout every day, but this week was a week of different things going on. I did walk two miles on Tuesday and Wednesday with my step mom in NJ, I worked doing some pretty serious manual labor with my dad on both of those days: sanding cabinets, tearing down wallpaper, vacuuming up dust from popcorn ceilings, and painting closets. So I got a GREAT arm workout those few days. This is the first day in almost a week I haven't felt that self-loathing icky mopeyness. Thank God. My relationship with God has been pretty rough the past few weeks, so maybe that has something to do with it. He knows what He's doing, I just have to trust that things will work out, and be proactive about keeping on top of my game.

I have exactly 4 weeks until my friend's wedding, which I'm in, and the dress I ordered is too small, but the size above it is too big. Hm. So I have exactly 4 weeks to really push myself, the last 4 weeks of insanity. Which I don't actually have yet, I have to borrow them from a friend...eep! Should try to get those today.

I've decided today is going to be a great, productive day. I did get to sleep in a little bit, which is nice, and Despite the fact that it's Saturday, I need to go to the grocery store. Yuck. I have to work on my eating habits more. I hate planning meals, and I end up wasting so much food. Also need to plan a trip to Trader Joe's for special stuff. Maybe that's my adventure for the day.

Hanging out with a friend this afternoon, perhaps going to see a show :) Yay!