womp womp...

no post should ever start with womp womp...but, oh well.

Man, today was hard. Trying to make new habits when I feel yucky about myself is difficult. I had the day off with absolutely no plans (which is NEVER a good thing), so I sat around and felt mopey all day. I took two naps, and laid around and felt sorry for myself. That is NOT acceptable. I must allow myself some grace, some wiggle room if you will, to fail and have a bad day, but to be hard on myself because I'm not out running 5k's like I used to a year ago will never get me anywhere.

Since I moved to the city almost a month ago, I have had much more frequent feelings of mopeyness. I will screw up, and I will make mistakes, I have to start small. When I feel like this, and this was the case today, I ended up yelling at myself (not out loud, although as I get older I'm sure it will get to that point one day...) to stop being a self loathing pathetic slob and do something. Just get dressed like you're going for a run. You don't have to go, just get dressed, you'll feel better. So I did. And I felt a little better (it's amazing how a bra-- I'm a fan of the "shock absorber 4+" for higher impact exercise-- can lift the girls AND your mood simultaneously). So I thought, well I'll just walk up and down my street, I live across from a park. So as I was crossing the street to walk up the park side, I saw a car in the distance, so I thought maybe I should jog across the street to make way for this car coming and I just kept going. Jogging. Half way up my street I saw some scary looking folks, so I turned around and went down the ton of steps (I'm sure I will be familiar enough to count them soon) into the park to the other side, and started running up the street. And, as my timing is impeccable, it started POURING. Now, that almost would have been refreshing except I was wearing my glasses, which means I couldn't see, so I ran home. This sounds so epic, running in the rain, I can hear the rocky theme... but in the grand scheme of things, it was 10 minutes door to door. But I ran 8/10's of a mile, a 12:30 minute-per-mile pace (I track where I run and for how long on dailymile.com and it judges hills, distance, pace, and calorie burn...it also measures your entire lifetime stats, how many doughnuts you've burned, how many TV's you've powered, an how many times around the world you've gone). And I was already sweating buckets.

Today's goal was met. I got out, I got my blood flowing, and I explored a little bit of the park I haven't even been in yet that I live across from.

This weekend's plan: to do measurements and get a scale. It will be a lot better to see where I've come from if I know inch-for-inch where I started.

There's a gym a couple of blocks from my apartment, and they're doing a 30 days for $30 deal, and I think I might do that. A dollar a day is cheaper than taking the subway to the top of central park and walking/running there and back, so why not. I only want to run/walk 3 days a week, with something else the other 3 days...strength training? Weights? Maybe I'll do videos (I own P90x and Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and pilates for dummies, although p90x and pilates are at my mom's in PA and I won't be there until next weekend) so that if there's bad weather, I have something to do inside.

Obvi my mind is kind of all over the place in regards to planning how I want to accomplish my workout schedule, but ideas are forming, and once I have a routine, a plan, I think I'll be able to stick with it.

Okay, verbal vomit complete.